Stefy ~ ステフィ (pharrezychica) wrote,
Stefy ~ ステフィ
pharrezychica

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Gloomy days

I'm feeling melancholic these days.
I'm still feeling sick, and it0s absurd since I don't have a temperature. It's just a damn strong cold.
The fact that for the past two days we've had bad weather isn't helping either... dark, cold, gloomy days. It's almost noon and I'm here with my lights on, it's so depressing.

Plus... I don't know. I'm thinking about stuff.
juliesaintjust lives today for Paris. She got in the Sorbonne so she'll be living and studying there. I'm so proud of her, getting in the Sorbonne? That's big stuff!
She worked hard for this, for almost an year, so I'm happy for her.
But at the same time I know I'll miss her, it's making me a little sad.
Happy and sad at the same time, is it possible?

And my cousin is turning 17 this weekend. It's a bit unsettling. I've had a sort of 'older sibling' relationship with her, and only now I'm truly realizing she's grown up. Things that interested her before don't interest her anymore.
She goes out at night with friends, she's having a much better high school experience than I did and I'm glad, her classmates sound like really cool kids.
I remember the first few years there was a bunch of her girlfriends that pressed to meet me, apparently it was the epitome of 'cool' that she had an older cousin that read Harry Potter :P
Now? I'm thinking they're past all that.
She's getting near the 'rebelling' age, and I'm selfishly crossing my fingers that she'll go through this phase without, well, rebelling. Lol!
I'm so afraid she'll grow out of our relationship, that she won't need me anymore. And it hurts.
She has 2 younger siblings, but I'm an only child. My siblings are those 3 cousins, and I'm terrified of losing them.

I'm looking at this post and seeing a lot of babbling and moaning.
I'm sorry. I'm not helping my mood any, in fact I'm depressing myself even more...
Nevermind, sorry for the huge rant.
Tags: gaia, giulia, rant, rl
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